Dream

I feel certain that my suffering is someone else’s fault, I just cannot settle on whose fault it is. My sister and I decided to finally visit Walt Disney’s hometown. She had taken the day off work. We didn’t have a plan. I had a bad cold. I drove her car because driving is one […]

How to Defeat Nazis, or, Haven’t We Done This Before Except the President Was the Good Guy?

Top Cottage was the little retreat FDR had built for himself, but only used a bit. He had a few folks up there, a king and queen, sat with Winston Churchill and talked about the bomb. Then he died. FDR. Though Churchill died, too, I’m sad to say. They both could be assholes. Complete assholes. […]

Anxiety Goes to the Monastery

Oh. That’s the problem. Not the panic attacks, the anxiety, the what happened and didn’t in New York, the what does it mean to not be a New Yorker or to leave. Not any of that. My sister friend asked what I was afraid of, and I said, “I’m not worthy.” Nuns again for […]

East to West

Eleanor Roosevelt has one white rose on the desk she doesn’t use anymore, because she is dead. My mother and I sat in the reconstructed saloon of a German family. Her grandfather had taken his salooning skills all the way to Nebraska, others had stopped short of that. Others had lived in Germantown, in New […]