- What is your mindset upon first waking up?
a. Did I oversleep?
b. Oh shit it’s still happening
c. I just won’t get out of bed
d. Time to make the donuts
2. Which animal do you relate to most?
a. Cat
b. Bear
c. Squirrel
d. Sloth
3. What is your greatest concern at this particular second?
a. Stopping myself from reading news
b. My favorite restaurant food I already miss
c. Not having another panic attack or ending the one I’m having right now
d. Not strangling the person/people I am with
4. How do you feel about your available entertainment options?
a. I can’t watch any TV show no matter how dumb
b. Can watch dumb TV shows
c. Can watch dramas
d. What are my options?
5. How many of your dishes are currently dirty?
a. I mean, some of them, I guess
b. Kind of a lot
c. Some
d. None of them OR all of them
6. Which Muppet do you relate to most?
a. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
b. Kermit
c. Rizzo the Rat
d. Waldorf and Statler
7. Which Disney movie do you relate to most?
a. “Monsters, Inc.”
b. “Bambi”
c. “Toy Story” the first
d. “Alice in Wonderland”
8. Which president are you thinking of most?
a. FDR
b. Jimmy Carter
c. Teddy Roosevelt
d. Trump
9. What thing that you can’t do are you dying to do?
a. Date
b. Go to therapy
c. Work out in a gym or pool
d. I dunno, I’m all right at this particular moment
10. What destroyed or maimed world wonder do you feel most like?
a. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
b. The Colossus of Rhodes
c. The library at Alexandria
d. King Tut’s tomb
SCORING
| question | Points if you select…
A |
B | C | D |
| 1 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 2 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| 3 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 4 |
| 4 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 1 |
| 5 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 1 |
| 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 7 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 3 |
| 8 | 4 | 1 | 3 | 2 |
| 9 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 10 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 1 |
10-15: You’re just beginning to process, little caterpillar. Be patient. |
16-20:You are Beaker. It gets better. |
21-30: A very promising padawan you are. Use the force you must. |
31-40: Go get you a long black leather coat, son, you’re already dodging bullets. |
Landing 