Today someone said to me, “We just need one more big snow to get to a real catharsis, to really hit rock bottom,” and I did not slap this person, which goes to show what self-restraint I can exhibit.
Something beautiful (a poem by cummings I once read to my university classmates and someone told me afterward, “When you finished, I felt like we should bow our heads and say Amen,” one of my favorite compliments ever):
a clown’s smirk in the skull of a baboon
a clown’s smirk in the skull of a baboon
(where once good lips stalked or eyes firmly stir
red)
my mirror gives me on this afternoon;
i am a shape that can but eat and turd
ere with the dirt death shall him vastly gird
a coward waiting clumsily to cease
whom every perfect thing meanwhile doth miss;
a hand’s impression in an empty glove
a soon forgotten tune a house for lease.
I have never loved you dear as now i love
behold this fool who in the month of June
having certain stars and planets heard
rose very slowly in a tight balloon
until the smallening world became absurd;
him did an archer spy(whose aim had erred
never)and by that little trick or this
he shot the aeronaut down into the abyss
-and wonderfully i fell through the green groove
of twilight striking into many a piece.
I have never loved you dear as now i love
god’s terrible face brighter than a spoon
collects the image of one fatal word;
so that my life(which liked the sun and the moon)
resembles something that has not occurred:
i am a birdcage without any bird
a collar looking for a dog a kiss
without lips;a prayer lacking any knees
but something beats within my shirt to prove
he is undead who living noone is.
I have never loved you dear as now i love.
Hell(by most humble me which shall increase)
open thy fire!for i have had some bliss
of one small lady upon earth above;
to whom i cry remembering her face
i have never loved you dear as now i love
Going On 