53 Is All There Is

Dispatch from New York City, where the World Was Supposed To Be Buried In Suffocating and Dangerous Amounts of Snow: There was supposed to be a blizzard. It snowed. Some. I wore boots. I had dinner. Macaroni. I walked home. I wish there were more. To report. Humor: Today I lost a bet. Otters do […]

54, Hardly Anything, A Trifle.

Anecdote: While waiting for my bagel, I saw across the street the awning said, “CROWN HIGHTS BEAUTY SUPPLY.” So much is so homemade here, so shabby, it’s lovely. Humor: (from an email someone sent me in 2007, that classic year for snowman jokes) What did one snowman say to another? Do you smell carrots? Something […]

Surprisingly, There Are Only 55 Remaining Days of Winter

Someday it’s gonna be so hot, we’ll all be sweating and our feet will be dirty, and we’ll be like, winter, those were good times. I won’t be thinking this, but I bet someone will. Something beautiful: This is the first song I ever sang at my first karaoke night. Not that I have had […]

Duos

1. I was innocently waiting for my smoothie. There was another girl with a black beret, and she had a wedding ring, meaning someone loved her, whereas no one loves me, or ever has, or ever will, except for the people who have, you know. 2. Getting off the subway twenty minutes later, a woman […]