Chemical

Yesterday I was up at the Cloisters looking at a famous painting of the annunciation. A teeny Jesus is flying in Mary’s window, teeny streaks of light behind him, a toothpick cross on his back. He reminds me of Tinkerbell. The tour guide said the announcement, the word of God, impregnated Mary, so Jesus […]

Tea

How is the anxiety disorder? How is the Russian Tea Room? I prefer the Russian Tea Room. It took a glass of wine and a call to my mother to get me into Manhattan. I had successfully passed through lunchtime (for mysterious reasons a great anxiety trigger) and my oh-shit work is over I have nothing […]

Surprise

The cat has been keeping me up. Every hour or two, she cries. Sometimes she yowls out in the hall, making me fear my roommates will be disturbed, sometimes she sits on the floor next to my bed and cries. “Miranda, come here,” I have to say, pat the bed, she jumps up, I arrange […]

To Stop

It’s like I have a grenade in my pocket. Or I hold a fussy baby as we hide in a closet from the zombies. My brain, it cannot be trusted. So do I act calm? Sure. I have to. I had this new thought, this round, maybe this is what I am really afraid of: […]