Dogs not trying to poop.
Dogs being hustled.
Dogs too old to walk, cantering.
Outrageously tall dogs.
Overly done dogs.
Dogs who know you see them pee.
Dogs having the time of their lives.
Dogs wearing approved medical devices.
Dogs recently shaved and emotionally vulnerable.
Dogs with ears back.
Dogs so small they might be breathed in accidentally.
Dogs who don’t know any better.
Dogs getting away with things.
Dogs who think they should be allowed in Duane Reade.
Dogs with middle names.
Dogs with last names.
Dogs who are supposed to guard who instead lick.
Dogs who were supposed to lick and instead bite.
Dogs who are clearly assholes.
Dogs who sleeping in the kitchen behind a gate.
Dogs who can digest Barbie heads.
Dogs who crave fresh underwear.
Dogs who are afraid to go.
Dogs who couldn’t run, anyway.
Dogs who clearly ought to run small limited liability corporations.
Dogs with fur as fluffy as a parachute.
Dogs who are naturally practically naked.
Dogs who are treated like girls, but are male.
Dogs who ask questions later.
Dogs who smelly gummy.
Dogs who know what shampoo does.