BACK TO THE FUTURE IV by Samuel Beckett

FADE IN: SUBURBAN CALIFORNIA GARAGE.
 
DOC sits on the front hood of a DeLorean.  A box of plutonium is to the right of the car.
delorean
DOC
               
Damn, where’s that kid?
 
(stands up and paces, looks at his watch)
 
Damn, where’s that kid?
 
 MARTY enters.
MARTY
Hey, Doc.
DOC
Marty, there you are, thank goodness!
(They embrace)
MARTY
Now, Doc, that Biff fellow, wasn’t he just here?
DOC
Biff? Who’s that now?
MARTY
Biff, you know, Biff, mean guy, bully, hit the nerd, ruined his life, you remember.  My father, the nerd, and Biff, what cruelty!  What a piece of the human condition!
DOC
Biff, eh?
MARTY
Doc, you remember.
DOC
Hmm.  The cowboy?  Or is he that fellow who owns the casino?
               
MARTY
No, no, the guy who attacked my dad so viciously , you know, my dad in the past, my dad as a kid, not my dad as my dad.  You remember.
DOC
Hmm. 
(DOC sits on the hood of the DeLorean again)
MARTY
Doc.  Doc.  Come on.  Remember Biff?  All right, remember just before that, we talked, and you said, the flux capacitor is what makes time travel possible?
DOC
I did!  The flux capacitor is what makes time travel possible!
MARTY
Doc, you gotta believe me, we just saw Biff.
DOC
…not the cowboy, then?
             
MARTY
No, not the cowboy.  The boy with the convertible who shows up with his asshole friends and insults my dad at the malt shop where he is innocently drinking chocolate milk!
DOC
Hmm.  So.  We’ve got to get you back to the future, then?
MARTY
No, Doc, I’m here from the future, aren’t I?  Think now, isn’t this the future?  It seems so.  And Biff, I think, was here.  Think carefully now, Doc.
DOC
So many Biffs.  Who can keep count?
MARTY
If my dad would just–
DOC
If he would what? 
MARTY
Yes, if.  It is always if, isn’t it?  If, if.
DOC
Biff with his cane top knocked off, old man Biff?  Cheater Biff?  I remember.
MARTY
No, Doc.
DOC
(stands and walks around the car)
Huh.  Not Las Vegas Biff?  That is familiar….
(notices box)
How now, is this my plutonium?  I think I had some plutonium, couldn’t think what happened to it.
MARTY
Yours?  Well.  Who else’s would it be?
DOC
(examining the box)
If it’s here, it must be mine, I suppose.  I’m sure that in 1985 plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but….
MARTY
Yours or a terrorist’s, surely.
DOC
No, it’s mine.  Let’s go back, though, this is what I needed to tell you, I’ve just remembered, and let me get it out right away: the flux capacitor is what makes time travel possible.
MARTY
(finishing sentence with Doc)
…what makes time travel possible.
DOC
Yes.  Good, then, but plutonium?  That is also important, I know it is….
MARTY
Yes, because if they can’t go to the dance, then they can’t kiss, and….
DOC
Plutonium? It is strong stuff.
MARTY
…fell out of a tree.  Peeping tom.
DOC
That isn’t polite.
MARTY
Not polite at all, and while we are speaking of it, mistakes and misunderstandings, I am no Calvin Klein.  No Calvin Klein, indeed.  Am I Calvin Klein to you?  You know me, we’re old friends.
DOC
Not a bit Calvin Klein, no.
               
MARTY
(sits)
What year is it, though?  I was thinking it was the future, but now I’m not sure.  Is this the past?
               
DOC
Hmm, it’s either 1955 or 1985, I think. 
MARTY
1955, 1985, 1955, 2055, it could be, goodness, I don’t know.
DOC
A long time.  That’s what I could say.
MARTY
This is heavy, Doc.
DOC
Weight has nothing to do with it.
                               
MARTY
But what happens to us in the future?  Do we become assholes or something?  What will we do in the future?
                               
DOC
Perhaps young Biff will be back again.  If we are in the past.  If he is indeed young and has been here, as you said.  If the future is ahead, we may see him.  Listen!
                               
MARTY
I hear nothing.
                               
DOC
(looks at his watch)
Damn, where’s that kid?
 
FADE OUT.
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