Where I’m From

*Note: this writing reflects nothing on actual, true-life Schurmans, and their actual “issues,” as I solely lay claim to said “issues,” and all the other Schurmans are wonderful people who have generously tolerated both my serious and my flippant remarks for 33 years. All genealogical information is based on my sloppy and cursory clicking through Ancestry.com. The Schurmans certainly did not come over on the Mayflower– they came from Amsterdam some time later. It is true that many Schurmans remain in Canada, while I am descended from those who returned to America, obviously because they realized how awesome the colonies turned out to be, or (more likely) because they were not laid back enough to make it as Canadians.

Paine ‘n’ McCain at the OK Corral

“We have it in our power to begin the world again.” –Thomas Paine “There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year.” –John McCain I just got back from the southwest, where I met and insulted a charming cowgirl. I expected Tombstone, Arizona to be sort of like Frontierland at Disneyland. Instead, we […]

For Peace and Freedom

So they dug out this ash heap in Queens and built all these pavilions. They had cars already driving around in 1939. Cars were not yet drudgery and traffic jams and Jiffy Lube– they were leisure and freedom. They had an early television. Television was not yet aesthetic assault and battery everywhere you turn. You could see the Magna Carta. They had a dishwasher, which was about to make everyone’s life better (except for people who insist on living in minimally renovated pre-1935 housing like stupid, stupid me). They had a robot who smoked cigarettes. He was seven feet tall, spoke 700 words from the record player in his belly, and I would definitely go out on a date with him if his reconstruction goes as planned.