Turman’s Top Ten Dark Rides, Part 1

Spook-a-rama, Coney Island: When I rode on this a couple of summers ago, I was so thrilled I smiled all day. This is the lamest, most glorious thing. Ancient tracks and ride vehicles that make you feel like it’s 1945, and a ride through the crummiest Halloween robots flailing around pathetically. Still, I screamed the […]

Notes from the Occupation

What is it? The 99% Occupy thing consists of: hippies (wearing sandals, playing catch), libertarians (fun to drink with, but rather standoffish), conspiracy theorists (shiver), lefties who finally have some people to hang with and satisfy their collectivist longings (cute), union folk (with their union ball caps), and a lot of dogs. The dogs seemed […]

Illusions

I have to forgive the trees every fall. It’s okay. I know. You can’t help it. Now I can even work on being excited for them. Hey, next step! Transform! Let’s move on! These are not sentiments that come easily to me. I love deciduous trees. I love the fluttering of their leaves, and […]

Belonging

There was this guy at church who didn’t belong there. He had some kind of scarf over his head, making him a tunnel to hide in. You could barely see his face. He looked like a babushka through the white rabbit hole. The scarf that was hiding his face was a nutty black and white […]