Gypsy

I always wanted to be a gypsy for Halloween. Scarves, jewelry, long skirts. I had never seen an actual gypsy. It was only when I went to Rome that I encountered one, a woman prostrate on the sidewalk. I was walking around the Vatican, from St. Peter’s square to the museum entrance. There was some […]

Problems

Is a squirrel a problem? When I first moved into this place, there were spiders. Spiders, spiders everywhere, and not a drop to drink. I screamed when I saw them, and ran into another room, and my stomach tangled, and I wanted a fetal position and a security detail. I cried. Today, when I see […]

Of the Available Moustaches

“How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.” Salvador Dali loved the Marx Brothers. Dali wrote an outline for a surrealist film he hoped they might star in. In Groucho, Stefan Kanfer reports that the outline went like this: “Groucho lets go of the arm and the scissors. They go down to the street […]

Finished

Last Sunday, I followed the sidewalk around the mansion to get my paper. Walking back, I glanced at the front door, and a funny change of color caught my eye. A metal grate goes over the front doors. After the front doors with their pathetic latches were kicked in, the grate got pulled and bent […]